REVIEW — WTF (Anthologies of Horror Series)

We are back again with another Savage Realms Press book, WTF. The second book in the “Anthology of Horror” series after Symphony of the Damned, WTF gives us more death, more mystery, and more madness.

I want to focus on a few different stories here because the moment I opened WTF, I was blown away with what I was reading. We jumped immediately into the deep end and didn’t come back up for air — exactly what I was expecting from a book called WTF.

FutureFuck (Matt Martinek)

Starting off strong with sexual content, FutureFuck is the tale of a man who wants to up his sexual deviancy by ordering a new, AI-powered, high-tech sex doll. Lifelike and able to learn about their owner, the doll tends to every one of his desires, making him feel closer and closer — almost as if she were real. As he escalates his fantasies and becomes more violent (leading into BDSM territory), the doll turns the tables on him, giving him much more painful pleasure than he wanted.

I shouldn’t be that surprised because this is a horror anthology, but I wasn’t expecting to go straight to level 10! I will say that it was nice not leading the sexual violence in its usual form (assault on women). Though still violent and explicit, it was a twist on what we normally see in these types of stories. Plus, the addition of a sentient robot was a nice touch — this is a future fuck, after all.

Lasagna and Lunatic Laughter (Josh Strnad)

If FutureFuck was too harsh, Lasagna and Lunatic Laughter is a nice comedic reprieve from the debauchery and death. A man thinks about his life and what could have possibly gone wrong. Recounting his dumb dog and his sly cat, he slowly loses his mind at the thought of said cat somehow plotting against him; everything comes to a head over a pan of piping hot lasagna.

I will admit that this took me longer than I would have liked to realize this was a play on Garfield, Jon, and Odie. And once that clicked, this became all the more hilarious. Such existential dread. Such sinister descriptions of Garfield. I could only imagine this is what is going through Jon’s head as I sit there and watch the Saturday morning cartoon.

Take What You Want (John Chambers)

If you didn’t get enough cat stories, Take What You Want is a more realistic view of what happens to cat owners when they die. A woman, drunk and depressed, slips and falls down the stairs. She is severely injured, not being able to feel or move anything below her neck. Good thing her many cats are there to comfort her. She waits for help that will never come, while each day passing makes her cats more and more hungry. Nibbles turn into bites, and those turn into more, until the woman is gangrenous and bitten to smithereens.

There is a saying (more like a truth) that if their owner dies, dogs will sit with the body and do nothing to it, while cats will consume. A shorter story, this still packed a punch with some funny-yet-delirious quips from the dying woman. I felt bad for her, but at least her cats were OK!

Mr. Chocolate (Matt Martinek)

I think that Jeffrey Dahmer is probably my (for lack of a better term) “favorite” serial killer. So, when this story featured a killer who worked at a chocolate factory and made shrines from their dismembered body parts, I knew I would like this story. All of that happens, but a fellow coworker and killer joins the mix to change it up from the true crimes committed.

It’s a story I had heard a thousand times, so I knew how it would go. But I will say the addition of the friend joining in and eventually being left alone as our main murdered is put away for his crimes is something I didn’t see coming. It wasn’t so much of a surprise, but rather something that added tension to the whole situation.

The Man Who Ate Ghosts (Michael Paige)

Though most of what I’ve written already bases itself in real life, I wanted to include a paranormal story that I really enjoyed. The Man Who Ate Ghosts caught me on its title alone. A staff member at a psychiatric hospital meets a new patient with pica, constantly and consistently trying to eat inedible objects. Having had his stomach pumped many times already, the staff are used to it. One day, the orderly sees the man choking on something — a hand that just as quickly as it is seen, slithers back down into the patient’s gullet. Not wanting to believe what he has just seen, the orderly talks with the man who recounts his childhood eating supposedly haunted objects and thinking that the spectres inside had instead remained inside of him.

I think that this story is probably my favorite of the book. It feels like Shutter Island mixed with The Conjuring and somehow Austin Powers‘ Fat Bastard in there as well. It was slightly funny, the way the patient’s mind went straight to “cleansing” haunted objects, but it was more so intriguing and disturbingly scary. As I read the account of the hands coming from the mouth, I would see it happening in my mind exactly as written on the page.

The Oddest Couple (Matt Martinek)

This novelette came with a warning, and I could see why. Longer and split into chapters, The Oddest Couple brings us back to the world of serial killers when “Ted” and “Jeff” (Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer) enter a sort of Hell where they are roommates, living in Dahmer’s Milwaukee apartment. They have their spats and learn to live with each other, getting off on their crimes. Soon, they begin to kill again.

A play on the Odd Couple trope, this story gives insight into what a matchup like that may have been like. They killed at different times and lived in different places obviously, but imagine if they had actually met in real life. Given the nature of their crimes, there is an abundance of sexual violence and gruesome imagery, so read and be warned.

WTF was a great sequel to Symphony of the Damned, making sure to up to ante in every way possible — and apparently, make me a fan of author Matt Martinek in the process. Anthologies like these are a terrific option to learn about authors you otherwise wouldn’t have. And as depraved and grotesque as their stories may be, they are insight into the human condition and are sure to leave you scarred… in a good wat. WTF indeed.

WTF is available to purchase on Amazon. For more from Savage Realms Press, visit their website and Instagram.