You may recall another one my my Bad Movies Gone Good reviews about Rob Zombie. In short, it wasn’t looking good. Ultra violent. Ultra sexual. Ultra swearing. And a big ol’ mess of degenerate material. I found The Lords of Salem really good, but the rest I could go without, especially Halloween.
… But you know what happens when you’re bored and it’s been a coupe years? You watch it again! Already Halloween had everything going against it. It’s a remake of one of the most famous and loved horror movies ever. It adds a backstory to a previously-mysterious force of nature. It adds characters that are not only irrelevant to the story as a whole, but are also super annoying. Nevertheless I was determined to find the good in all of this.
Right off the bat we start off atrociously. A family made up of a mom (Sheri Moon Zombie, of course), oldest kid and teenage dirtbag Judith, baby Angel, mom’s abusive boyfriend, Judith’s metalhead boyfriend, and the man (or boy) himself, Michael Myers. Michael is clearly affected by his family’s abusive, screaming nature and takes it upon himself to not only murder one of his pets, but also the school bully. On Halloween night, he murders his family too, leaving the mom (who ends up killing herself later in the movie) and baby Angel (who ends up being adopted and renamed “Laurie Strode”). Michael is put into a juvenile psychiatric detention center under the supervision of Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) to get to the bottom of his mad delusions. Years later, a gargantuan, hulking Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) escapes the institute, leaving nothing but blood and carnage in his path. The rest of the movie plays out like the original: babysitters (one of which is Danielle Harris) either have sex or watch some kids while they are killed one-by-one by The Shape.
What most people point out — and this is something I whole-heartedly agree with — is that Halloween gave Michael Myers a more robust backstory to justify his murder spree. Many people around the world come from incredibly broken homes or were abused and don’t lay a finger on a fly, let alone another person. In this movie, only a family that resembles the Firefly crew could breed such a monster. The original Halloween had it right; giving The Shape no real story adds to his mystique and makes him way scarier. There’s also the fact that all of Rob Zombie’s films have a certain feel to them and lay extremely heavy on the violence, language, and debauchery. This is not everyone’s taste.
But you have to give it to Rob, Halloween made one hell of a Michael Myers! What an awesome idea to make this character threatening using only his size; Mane, a retired professional wrestler, is almost 7 feet of muscle. Ain’t nobody, not even Danny Trejo, escaping him! The famous Captain Kirk mask is grungy and torn, just as a psycho killer’s mask should be. And if you like blood, Halloween has it. Myers goes to town on orderlies, old ladies, teens, and truck drivers played by Ken Foree. No one is safe (except for Sheri Moon Zombie and his baby sister). Every scene you can feel the pain coming from the characters as they plead for their lives. It felt more real than most Halloween movies up until that point.
I’d like to think of Rob Zombie as the Adam Sandler of the horror world, always having a faithful crew to appear in his movies. In a sea of friendly faces listed already, we also get Clint Howard, Dee Wallace, Sid Haig, Adrienne Barbeau, and Brad Dourif. Halloween is star-studded! Every new scene and new character makes you wonder what horror icon will be on screen next. And though I found some characters to be annoying and not needed, it was still fun to see so many people from the genre.
I’m probably not ever going to say Halloween was a good movie because there’s just so much I don’t like about it. It’s too trashy. It gives too much explanation. It’s just a lot. But I am a staunch believer that every movie has something good about it. If we pick apart pieces, Halloween has some real gems that any horror fan will appreciate. It takes time and effort to put a movie together with this much going on. It also takes an incredible about of balls to do a remake. We can at least give Rob Zombie that.
What did you think of Rob Zombie’s Halloween? Let us know in the comments!
Rob Zombie’s Halloween is available to stream on Amazon Prime Video.
