Do you like raunchy geriatrics and leg-eating zombies? Look no further than Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea. The opening scene gives us all we need to know: the world has gone to shit, rent is due, zombies are a problem, and old lady landlords are giving their tenants the bombastic side-eye between spewing out obscenities.
A tyrannical landlady lords it over her tenants during an epidemic, pitting them against each other in a web of paranoia spun for deadly results.
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea, IMDB
On the outside, you’d think this was going to be a whole bit about the landlady. It starts that way — she is the catalyst for a lot of the stuff that goes down in this movie — but we actually get a story of tenants turning on each other. There are mildly corrupt (and just plain goofball) cops, neurotic (and hell-bent on revenge) renters, those with perverse and dangerous mindsets, and the people who just want to get by all under one crumbling roof. While we’re learning about the how’s and why’s these people all ended up in this complex under landlady Liz Topham-Myrtle, we’re brought back up from sob stories with quick-witted quips and satire.
Sure, there are zombies walking around, but the real standout characters are those tenants. Of course, fascist landlady Liz (Brian Patrick Butler in a wig and face prosthetics), main girl Rosie (Kimberly Weinberger), and tough guy Tank (Nick Young) all played fantastic pieces in this Hell on Earth. Brought together by Aimee La Joie, Randy Davison, Merrick McCartha, Matthew Rhodes, Nick Young, Pierce Wallace, Jake Golden, Mia Gascon, Derrick Acosta, and Mark Atkinson as various other residents and cops, Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea, is a mess in the best way. It’s like watching a reality show where they all get to murder each other.
There’s this strange dichotomy between being serious and being super unserious. Clearly the residents of this complex are dealing with a multitude of issues that people may even relate to today: high rent for low-value, overbearing people in power, crime, etc. But there are always ways to laugh or just say “Fuck it, it is what it is.” Life has a strange way of intertwining people’s stories, as Hemet shows. And all those stories, good and bad, are turned into a giant art piece… an art piece with dripping gun wounds and cut-off nubs for hands.
I think the key to watching Hemet is to take the strong attributes of all these characters and use them in your own life. Do the right thing like Gary. Fight the power like Rosie. Be a boss-ass-bitch like Liz. And make sure to laugh along the way, like I did! Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea is a snippet of time in a dystopian universe where even though zombies are out there eating people, you still have to pay your rent. Watch Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea and enjoy the crude jokes on others’ behalf. When the world gives you shit, sometimes you just gotta laugh.
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea is available to stream on Amazon, FlixFling, Hoopla, Plex, and Tubi TV. Visit the Official Site here.
